


“ i found the ground , i’m marching on “

by vanity_dee



Series: the boys & all their moments in between. [3]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Multi, Set in Current TImes, a good ol coming out story, light cussing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:09:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29683776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanity_dee/pseuds/vanity_dee
Summary: alex is done with the hiding.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: the boys & all their moments in between. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138433
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	“ i found the ground , i’m marching on “

**Author's Note:**

> heyyyyyyy! so, here it is, here we go.   
> this is what we’ve been building up to ever since the last part of this series. there are some lines in spanish & the translations will be in the end notes. i hope you all enjoy <3.

Alex remembers the first time Luke showed him _Bright_. It was the summer before the eighth grade when he came out to his best friends, they were in Reggie's backyard of course, tired out from a day spent at the beach.

" _I like boys, I like boys the way I'm supposed to like girls and I'm scared to tell my parents_."

He remembers the way they hugged him as he trembled from the anxiety of it all. He knew they'd accept him but his nerves hadn't, saying it out loud rather than his head was always different.   
  


It was two weeks later when Luke tugged him into the garage after a movie night. He remembers the way Luke sat him down on the couch, clasped his hand, kissed his cheek, and then handed over his notebook.

" _Why are you giving me this? You never let me read your songs until they're ready .. have you finished a new one_?" Luke just gave him a tiny smile as if he knew something Alex didn't.

" _Quit asking me questions and read it dummy_."

He remembers how badly he cried while reading through Luke's shitty-ass chicken scratch writing.

A song meant for him and him only. A song that made Alex's anxiety feel recognized and accepted at the same time.

" _I'm not good with feelings or whatever but .. I just wanted to remind you that you won't ever have to do anything alone if you don't want to. It's always going to be you, Reggie, and me. That beautiful big brain of yours tries to convince you you're alone but you're not. Even when you think everything is on fire we'll be right here_."   
  


A song that would exist permanently as a reminder that even in the dark he had his stars.

To be told he had them and eventually it would be okay was all he needed to feel better.

That was probably the moment Alex realized he was in love with Luke Patterson. Or maybe it was when Luke started cutting off his shirt sleeves freshman year.

  
  


Friday was finally here and for Alex it had been a whole week of nerves, not being able to enjoy meals, avoiding his friends, and sleepless nights.

Not even being entirely tangled with Luke and Reggie could relieve the tension from his body.

It had been about two months since graduation and the boys finally signed a lease to their first place together.

Ray's realtor friend hooked them up with a spot in North Hollywood. The rent was a bit higher than what they aimed for but the space and amenities made up for it.

Ray ended up co-signing with them. Their realtor required more security in trusting them since they were three teenage boys with little to no credit.

They were due to move in next week so an awful lot of their time lately was being consumed by packing up their childhood bedrooms. Reggie went first with not too much to pack, then Luke who took a few days, and lastly Alex.

The time being spent moving out was the time Alex decided it would be at their weekly Friday night family dinner that he would come out to his parents.

When he told the boys they offered to show up for support before Ray proposed they hosted dinner at the Molinas instead. More support for Alex.

Alex's parents of course accepted the dinner invitation because they didn't want to be rude.

"Alexander dear, would you mind grabbing the pie?"

Earlier this morning Alex's mother cooked up a strawberry pie which was her go-to dessert dish. It was also Reggie's favorite type of pie.

Alex took it from his mother's hands as his father helped her out of the car. "I haven't seen Ray in a while, he must be occupied with his photography eh?"

Alex nodded towards his father after he rang the doorbell. Usually, he'd just walk right in because Ray was used to it after all the years of teenagers coming in and out, but his parents would lecture him if he did that in front of them.

"He travels out of town a lot."

Moments later the door was swung open by Carlos who had his familiar grin on. The smell of spicy green sauce drifted to Alex's nose as his eyes moved to the kitchen.

Ray was chopping up veggies which Reggie was filtering into different bowls. Luke sat on the counter near the sink watching them, his arms were moving wildly so he was probably either in the middle of telling a story or having a hissy fit.

Alex guessed the second. Luke probably attempted to help Reggie and Ray but nobody in their right mind counted on Luke in the kitchen.

The boy was a walking tornado, it was a wonder he managed not to harm himself with scissors whenever he snipped his shirt sleeves.

" _Hola_!" "Good afternoon Carlos .. you've grown! You still play baseball?" They came into the home and Alex made a beeline to the kitchen.   
  


"Lex!" Luke sprung up, Alex set down the pie just before Luke crashed into him. He laughed for the first time today as he accepted the embrace.

Luke managed to discreetly kiss Alex's jaw before he pulled away. Alex wandered over to Ray who paused his chopping to kiss Alex's cheek before hugging him quickly. " _Buenas noches Alejandro_!"

This was a greeting Alex used to find odd but only because nobody had ever greeted him like that before. Later on in seventh grade when he met the rest of Julie's family at a cookout, he recognized this was their usual form of greeting.

It was exciting to be submerged in their culture, he adored and respected it so much.

Reggie grinned from Ray's side, "is that strawberry pie?" Ray narrowed his eyes, “ _ni lo pienses_ , you can have pie after dinner."

Reggie pouted and Alex rubbed his back, "Julie?"

"Upstairs with Flynn." 

“Is she staying for dinner?"

Luke swiped a few pieces of mango from Ray's fruit platter, he passed some to Alex with a smirk. "Nah she was hanging out when Reg and I got here, she's got something with Carrie later."

Their conversation was halted by Alex's mother infiltrating the kitchen with a dazzling smile. "Ray! It's been too long!" The boys exchanged a similar look.

Alex's family was certainly the stereotypical rich type. They put on a show for others and rarely let you see their true colors. And of course, with any rich family came a chain of secrets and coverups. Last year Alex's uncle spent tons of money covering up a drunk driving accident Alex's cousin had.

Alex briefly wondered if he'd become the next coverup or secret. He shivered at the thought and Reggie gently knocked their shoulders together.

  
"Well you know how life is, it's easy to get caught up!" The boys watched as Ray and Alex's parents exchanged hugs and smiles. "Yes it is .. must be easier now that Julie and Carlos are getting older." 

"What is on the menu tonight? Alex comes home most nights too full to have dinner with us, we've heard so many good things about your cooking."

Alex's father nodded, "don't tell us you've been holding out on us Ray." Ray flashed Alex a thankful smile before turning back to his parents. " _Green chicken enchiladas con frijoles y arroz_."

"Beans and rice," Alex translated for his parents who hadn't bothered to learn even a bit of Spanish.

They narrowed their eyes at him. Not in an offended way, more of a ' _when did you learn Spanish_ ' way.If only they knew their son was perfectly fluent in the language. 

Alex hadn't been too hungry lately but the sound of green chicken enchiladas made his stomach grumble loudly. Luke smiled next to him, if he could his arm would've already been fastened around Alex's waist and he'd rub Alex's stomach teasingly, _if_ he could.   
  


"I've never had that before," Alex's mother confessed. Reggie brightened, "it's delicious!" His outburst seemed to draw Alex's parents' awareness to him and Luke.

"Luke! Reginald! I didn't think you'd be joining us tonight!" "Well we practically live here," Luke explained with a smirk. Alex's parents laughed cluelessly, they took his statement as a joke.

"The more the merrier right?" "Of course."

"Why don't I get you both something to drink? I just picked up this bottle of wine I've been dying to try?"

Alex's mother nodded, "I'd love a glass."

Alex took this as his cue to exit, he tugged Reggie and Luke. Before they could slip away Ray caught them, "is my kitchen assistant leaving me?"

Reggie blushed and Alex laughed again. If Ray wanted him there Reggie would be there. He'd been getting more into cooking lately because of Ray. 

"I just need help with the frijoles if you don't mind, _y luego te puedes irte_." When Reggie glanced at Alex he only nodded with a smile, who the hell was he to hold Reggie back?

Alex ignored the way his pride soared at the way Reggie had looked at him for permission. It wasn't that he wanted Reggie to feel like Alex controlled him and he hoped Reggie didn't. He just had a bit of a dominant side to him.   
  


What was it Harry Styles said?

 _Cause I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch_.

 _Fine Line_ was one hell of a record, Alex thought.   
  


"Don't eat all the food before dinner," Luke teased.

Reggie had a habit of eating what he was cooking while he cooked. "Lucas you can go but stop eating the mango! It's for later!"

Alex caught his father's eye as he watched their interaction. As he and Luke moved towards the staircase he managed to catch his father's voice,

"You really are like a parent to these boys hmm?"

He would never know how big of an understatement that was.

Luke's natural fiery, mischievous look was playing in his eyes. Alex should've anticipated what came next or maybe he knew and let Luke have his fun.

One moment Alex's hand was in Luke's, the next Luke was dragging him into the guest bedroom, and then the door was shut tightly and Alex was thrust against it.

His Luke, so needy to touch and to be touched, eager for anything Alex would give him. 

Alex's laugh was hushed by Luke's lips on his. He kissed him with such need as if he'd simply die if he went any longer without Alex's kiss.

Alex gave him his minute or two. But then he pulled away, a confident smirk on his lips, " _nu-uh_." 

  
He moved so that Luke's back was now facing the door instead of it being his own. Alex placed a hand to Luke's chest as the boy raised an eyebrow, "what?"

And then he pushed his hand forward causing Luke to fall backward, back slamming against the door.

Alex flinched very slightly. He had to remember his parents were downstairs. His hand now came to Luke's neck, lips trailing on Luke's skin, "you better keep quiet."

He received a groan in response and Alex pulled back, his fingers immediately curling into Luke's hair, "what did I say?" Luke sighed breathlessly.

"Yeah .. yeah, okay, c'mon Lex."

Alex's smirk grew into a smug grin.

So he grabbed Luke's chin with two fingers and brought the boy's lips to his. His other handheld Luke steady against the door while Luke's hands twisted Alex's shirt that he had ironed perfectly.

_Fire_ , _fire_ , _fire_. That's what it was.

Alex's teeth bit into Luke's lip and Luke made a small noise, one of appreciation. It was another type of high to know just how good Alex had him.

This kept on until Alex pulled apart to whisper between kisses, "we should stop." Luke nodded before Alex shut up to kiss Luke so more.

"We should."

_Kiss_.

"They'll notice .."

_Kiss_ , _kiss_.

"Yeah .."

_Kiss_.

"Definitely .."

It was one hell of an internal struggle for Alex to pull away from Luke but he managed to moments later. He was awarded the sight of Luke's jutted-out lips, eyes hazed, and hair messy.

"You're pretty," Alex mumbled.

After they made themselves look as decent as possible, Alex couldn't get rid of the wrinkles in his shirt but he hoped that if his parents noticed they wouldn't think much of it, they then left the room.

Alex could hear the lofi beats playing in Julie's room from outside her bedroom door. Luke was about to barge in but Alex of course stopped him and knocked.

"She could be changing!" Julie's voice came from the other side of the door, "come in!" Luke flung the door open and marched right on in, "hey."

Julie turned from her vanity, she was about to greet the boys when her eyes zeroed in on them and she shook her head. "You guys are insufferable."

Luke pouted and Alex sat down next to him on Julie's bed. "What gave us away?" "Luke's lips are way too swollen and chapped," Flynn giggled as Julie tossed over a chapstick.

"Ooo honey apple flavor!" Luke didn't waste another moment to lather his lips up.

"Is Reggie helping my dad?" 

“With the beans yeah."

"I should probably be heading out now, Care will be mad if I'm late, _Dirty Candy_ is playing at a new spot downtown." Flynn moved so Julie could hug her goodbye and Luke nodded, "rad, rock out for us."

"Will do, good luck tonight Alex, you got this!" Alex smiled after the girl who gave him two thumbs up before exiting the room.

"So Jules .. when are ya gonna tell Carrie you like her?" That whole situation was a mess.

A small fraction of sophomore year had been spent in rocky angst between Julie and Carrie, who at the time, believed Julie had a thing for Flynn.

Flynn was a lesbian but she very much didn't have a thing for Julie. " _No offense Jules but you're just not my type_!"

So then that got cleared up and ever since then the friend group had been suffering through the pining the two girls were doing. Alex thanked whoever was up in the sky that he and his boys had avoided all that.   
  


In a way, they had known they were meant for each other. Just like how they knew their music with Julie was something special. They just knew. 

" _Niños_! Dinner! _Ven a sirvirte un plato antes que Reggie se coma toda la comida_!"

Alex rolled his eyes meanwhile Luke laughed. Julie shook her head with a smile, "let's plan one coming out at a time okay?"

Alex exhaled a shaky breath, "agreed."

Julie was already downstairs when Luke stopped Alex in the hallway to clutch his hand.

"If you're still not ready you don't need to do this okay? If you're rushing because you think Reggie and I mind your parents not knowing, don't. It's fine."

Alex's anxiety could try and convince him that Reggie and Luke were too good for him. But he knew they were just right for him and he was just right for them too.   
  


And that was why he needed to tell his parents.

"I got this .. _now or never_ right?"

Luke scowled, "Reggie's our punny guy babe, not you." "Ouch." "Yeah yeah, come on before our punny guy eats our food."

The kitchen was alive with moving bodies by the time Luke and Alex arrived. Alex smiled mostly to himself as he watched Ray, Julie, Reggie, and Carlos work around each other flawlessly.

His parents bumped into one another or a countertop now and then, they weren't used to the way they all functioned together.

They weren't part of their music.

Luke gave Alex a smile of his own probably thinking the same thing because along with Reggie they had developed this sixth sense for each other over the years.

Reggie pushed through the action to hand the two of them a plate each, blush on his cheeks, a smile on his fair lips. "Come on, come on, Ray wants to say prayer before we eat."

None of the boys were all too big with religion, even Alex whose parents visited church about two times a month. They believed there was a higher power and that was about it regarding the topic.

But they still closed their eyes and went silent out of respect for Ray and his beliefs when he prayed before every meal they had together.

After everyone served their plates they made their way to the main dining room. Earlier, Luke brought more chairs to the table since there were originally only six and they needed eight.

It was a bit packed but it worked.   
  


Ray sat at the head of the table with Julie and Carlos on his right. To his left were all three boys, and then there was Alex's father and the other end of the table, his mother on his father's left.

In the beginning, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of plates being scraped, forks clattering, the ice in glasses clicking together whenever the glass was picked up.

Alex's nerves were beginning to slowly creep up on him so he couldn't finish all three enchiladas he served himself, he gave his third one to Reggie.

"That was delicious Ray. I didn't know you could cook so well!" "Thank you, I picked it up after Rose .. it makes me feel closer to her."

Julie grabbed her father's hand and Reggie patted his back, Ray smiled at the two of them.

"Well, time for dessert?" Everyone cheered and Carlos went into the kitchen to grab the pie and fruit plate which Luke instantly took into his arms.

Ray cut the pie and passed it around for everyone to get their slice. Once it passed Alex's parents it went to Luke who gave it to Alex to cut.

He wasn't trusted with knives either.

Alex cut Luke a small portion knowing he wasn't big on pie but Reggie got a good slice. Unconsciously, he took a little of the pie onto a fork before carrying it to Reggie's lips, "here you go love."

For a moment Alex forgot his parents were sat at the same dining table. Everyone else considered this as normal behavior so nobody said a word.

Until Alex looked over to his father when Reggie finished eating the piece of pie off the fork. And Alex realized what he had done and how it looked.

And this time, his father's eyes were narrowed in a not so confused way. 

Alex's mother's voice was small, " _love_?"

The table was silent. Alex's heart was beating in his ears, every one of his bones remaining absolutely still, his eyes were locked on his father's eyes. They shared the same shade of green.

"Alexander, what is this?" His father's harsh tone woke him out of his daze. He sounded so distant and rough, Reggie shrunk into his seat nervously, Alex wanted to take the boy into his arms.

How come he never thought of how to say this? _Mom, dad, I have two boyfriends who I love very much. Mom, dad, I've been dating my bandmates for years now, I love them_.

"I'm gay."

There it was, there was no going back now.   
  


What wasn't coming back was Alex's air, his throat felt tight, now really wasn't the time for his lungs to be failing him. Although it wasn't his lungs that were the culprit, it was of course the anxiety that loved him oh so much.

It was almost like his parents had been slapped, their faces displayed such surprise and maybe Alex would've laughed if he wasn't so damm nervous to hear what they were going to say next.

"I .. Alexander this isn't you. This _cannot_ be you."

It stung so much to watch his parents try to assure and deny themselves of who he was. It bruised more than Alex would've liked to admit.

"You're just confused, that's it, you've never been with a girl and if you had been you wouldn't think this way-"

And how could they honestly believe Alex could choose this for himself? Why would he choose to risk being hated by the people who brought him into this world?

  
"I don't think, I _know_."

"I don't believe this and I don't see where this is coming from Alexander." His father's gaze turned on Reggie and Luke, "was it them? Did they seduce you into this?"

Alex's face went red, maybe it was his anxiety, maybe it was his sudden anger, maybe it was both. 

"Stop it. I _love_ Luke and Reggie. I'm not sorry that I don't love girls the way I love them. I'm sorry I let _myself_ hide who I am. I'm done with the hiding and the games, this is who I am, _with_ _or_ _without_ you this is who I will always be."

They remained speechless, grasping what Alex said, grasping the fact that their son put his foot down.

Alex laid out all his cards for them.

_No backsies_.

"I won't accept this," his father announced. His tone didn't hold any anger only defeat. His green eyes darkened with disappointment. Alex looked over to his mother who was staring down at her half-eaten piece of pie.

She wasn't going to look at him.

She couldn't accept it either.

"I think it's best if you leave," Ray said with a stern expression. Alex's parents froze before they seemed to remember how to move their bodies and then they were scrambling up.

"Alexander-" "He can stay here, Alejandro is _always_ welcome with us." Ray looked as if he was challenging Alex's parents, they stood still from the shock of his tone which was always kind.

He got up from his seat to see them out.

Alex didn't watch them leave. He turned to Luke, Reggie, and then Julie who gave him a small hopeful smile, "you did it." 

Suddenly Alex burst into tears. Hot tears were streaming down his face by the second.

Luke immediately reacted and placed an arm around Alex, "babe it's okay, they're assholes and who cares if they don't accept you, you have us and-"

Then Alex was laughing and Carlos titled his head, "is that what a nervous breakdown looks like?"

Alex laughed some more while he sobbed and nodded his head. This was _definitely_ what a nervous breakdown looked like.

"I'll get the tissues!"

"It's just .. I didn't think I could do it but I did and is it shitty to say a part of me doesn't care what they think?"

Because Alex always knew his chances. He grew up watching his dad find joy in using homophobic slurs. He heard the way his mother tore down boys who liked to wear makeup and women who got married in tuxedos to their brides.

  
"It's not shitty," Luke said with a smile. 

Carlos came back with the tissues right when Ray returned. " _Todo bien_?" Alex nodded as he blew his nose and Reggie wiped his face free from tear stains.

Julie looked around the scene before shrugging, "group hug?" "Yeah." Luke pulled Alex up just in time for everyone to sandwich him. There were a few more laughs as Alex stood in the center of all them all.

"The pie wasn't even that good," Reggie said into Alex's neck. "Tasted like ass."

" _Te voy a lavar tu boca con jabon Lucas_."

"Sorry, sorry," Luke muttered as Alex and Julie giggled.

  
  


Later on that night, at around three in the morning, was when the adrenaline of the night was beginning to wear off.

Reggie was passed out flat on his back. Alex's arm was thrown over his waist just like Luke's was a secure way of keeping Reggie happy while he slept and from rolling around in case he had a nightmare.

Luke and Alex had been laying in calmness for a while now, sleep would be taking them soon, they were simply basking in each other's presence while they waited.

Alex was absentmindedly stroking his fingers through Reggie's hair when Luke began to sing softly. 

" _And when I feel lost and alone, I know that I can make it home. Fight through the dark and find the spark_."

It would've been cheesy for Luke to sing Alex one of their songs any other time. 

Here he was again. Alex's reminder, Alex's ease.

" _And rise, through the night, you and I. We will fight to shine together, bright forever_."

**Author's Note:**

> *TRANSLATIONS*  
> "Buenas noches Alejandro!" : Good evening Alexander!
> 
> "ni lo pienses, you can have pie after dinner." : don’t even thinking about it, you can have pie after dinner. 
> 
> "I just need help with the frijoles if you don't mind, y luego te puedes irte." : I just need help with the frijoles if you don't mind, and then you can go. 
> 
> "Niños! Dinner! Ven a sirvirte un plato antes que Reggie se coma toda la comida!" : Kids! Dinner! Come serve yourself a plate before Reggie eats all the food!
> 
> “Todo bien? : everything okay?
> 
> "Te voy a lavar tu boca con jabon Lucas." : I’m going to wash your mouth with soap Luke.
> 
> it took me a while to put this out for you all because i had major writer’s block with how i wanted this to go. trust me, there are many failed drafts that led up to this. 
> 
> when i was writing the part where alex feeds reggie the pie, i told myself, “oh shit.” i genuinely surprised myself that i chose to transition into alex coming out because of that 😂.
> 
> i tried not to riddle alex with too much anxiety but to also make it present if that makes sense. i’ve read plenty of anxiety filled coming out stories for alex which i love, i just didn’t want to do that here, but maybe i’ll write one outside of this story that will be like that. a big part of alex’s character is that he has never been ashamed of who he was so i felt it was important to include the line where he apologized to himself. 
> 
> i also had to throw bright into this. i truly believe that song is alex’s song, it fits him so well in my opinion. 
> 
> that little makeout scene between luke and alex wasn’t even something i intended to write, it just appeared and i decided to keep it cause, why not haha. this was a bit luke and alex centered but don’t worry, my baby reggie will be having his spotlight. as if alex and luke put anyone or anything above reggie. 
> 
> i don’t plan on finishing off the series here. i plan to dive into luke & reggie maybe a tad more, & also julie. i kind of set up a storyline between her and carrie in this chapter, so let’s see what i do with that, it’ll be a moment between the boys for our girls to shine. 
> 
> that is all, thank you all for reading, i’m excited to hear your thoughts of this. thank you for all the love, until we meet again xx.


End file.
